Thursday, January 31, 2008


(Jan. 31 New York, New York) Every now and then you hear something that stops you in your tracks; something that is so beyond understanding or reason that you can do no more than shake your head in amazement. Often, politicians are the source for some of the most outrageous, idiotic, asinine, irrelevant comments. The latest in the long list of buffoons who were somehow voted into office several decades ago and have remained in office is Chuck Grassley, the “Iowa Intellect”, republican senator and all around jerk off.

Mr. Grassley, who loves to hear the sound of his own nasal twang on the radio and TV, never one to run from a camera, thrust himself into controversy with his comments regarding the failed presidential run of former NYC Mayor, Rudy Giuliani. To ask “what was he thinking?” would be to imply that he is capable of thought. Chuck Grassley, incumbent senior senator from, of all the godforsaken places, Iowa, had the gall to criticize New Yorker’s and our ‘personalities’. That’s odd, Chuck, because the only living entities in your state with personality are hogs and fat cows.

Senator Grassley, a man who has been bought and paid for by the big agribusiness conglomerates that rule rural America, the multinational pharmaceutical firms that make seed, fertilizer and have old Chuck living in their hip pockets. Chuck Grassley who never saw a subsidy he didn’t vote for and actual receive. This scumbag, imbecilic, dimwitted, inbred, waste of a carcass, just decades out of the outhouse, actually said things about a place and a people he knows absolutely nothing about. But, then again, one of the surest hallmarks of a true idiot is their ability to speak about anything without knowing anything.

Iowa, a fertile land with soil and groundwater contaminated from decades of fertilizers, chemicals and manure run offs all for the benefit of our heroic “family farmers.” That term alone is archaic; today’s farmers are hugely subsidized businessmen who happened to inherit land from Pa and Grandpa. Without the federal government, the American taxpayer, supporting them, they would not survive a year. These obese, barely literate, small minded, greedy schmoes are the biggest welfare recipients in the history of America. Oh, but don’t tell them that. No sireee. They see themselves as the salt of the earth, as honest, decent, hardworking folks providing cheap food for the world by their labors. Horse shit. These guys are corn and bean growers. Very little of their crop goes into food products that we eat; it goes into feed for livestock, industrial usages galore and now, the latest rage – ethanol. The best kept secret in the country today is that the American citizen literally supports farmers and farming in America. If they had to fend for themselves in a free market, without all the deals, loans, subsidies, crop insurance, fertilizer-chemical-seed company rebates, they wouldn’t be able to compete, let alone live the way they do.

And make no mistake about it; they live large, thanks to you, me and Uncle Sam. They work, tops, 12 weeks a year: six for planting, six for harvesting. What do they do the rest of the time? Eat, bullshit, eat, lie to each other, boink each others wives and daughters, eat some more, drink some more, collect government handouts, eat, check the mail box for the next subsidy check, drink some more, complain about how hard they have it, put up another mailbox so they can receive more government checks, drive around in expensive pick-ups, gossiping about their neighbors, figure out other ways to get more handouts, drink, fart, belch and think they are so much better than the rest of the country especially those poor fools who live in New York City or Los Angeles. What a sorry bunch of turds these folks are. They are Chuck Grassley’s constituency…they deserve each other.

But, once Chuck decides to stick his farmers shit-covered boot into his trash talking mouth, well, then it’s time to lay it all out. Iowa sucks. Iowans suck. Farmers are welfare cheats, lazy, greedy, slugs with their hands out. That’s it. Chuck, just take your bribes, let your asshole neighbors think you’re God and fuck off. God Bless you. Have a nice day.

A Faccia De Morte

Copyright © 2008 TBC All Rights Reserved

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